I feel like abortions should bother me more
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
