You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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