and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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