it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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