she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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