Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize