Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
