i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
