As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My ass is underappreciated
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
