youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
