well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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