Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
