piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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