I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
