You work out of a Hotel?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
