okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
