Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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