Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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