i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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