walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
