I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do herpes really smell.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
don't judge my taste in strippers
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
