help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
