I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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