You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
