I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
