Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
