we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
