She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize