Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
