It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so much tequila, so little girl.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
