i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
