Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently you make a good broom.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
