so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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