Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
please don't ironically join a cult
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