he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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