She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
