I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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