well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no you cant smoke seaweed
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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