Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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