So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
