Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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