we have pet lesbian snakes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
