YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize