dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize