dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
