you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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