i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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