these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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