Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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