at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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