Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize