i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
