It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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