Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
