oh god the rape fog is back!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
