pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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