I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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