Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Who died my cat blue again?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
