My boss' voice literally gives me gas
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
