The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
