don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
